What Research Reveals About Parental consideration
Remember that parenting crash cycle? The frustration of strategies that work one day but fail the next?
In a recent study (2022), researchers Joussemet and Grolnick analyzed decades of parenting research and found that, despite coming from completely different scientific traditions, the parenting dimensions that support healthy development – whether called ‘sensitivity,’ ‘responsiveness,’ or ‘autonomy support’ – seemed to share something fundamental that gets to the root of understanding and connecting with our children. They called it “parental consideration” – consistently taking our child’s viewpoint and experience into account.
This wasn’t just another parenting technique, but rather a way to describe, using a unifying concept, the various “ways of being” with our children that can actually support them, both in the moment, and long term.
The research shows that parental consideration works across cultures, ages, and contexts because it honors something fundamental about how children develop.
As the researchers explain: “When parents notice their children’s signals and accurately interpret them before responding by considering whatever needs to be taken into account (child’s emotion, state, capacity, interest, and opinion) children’s adjustment is facilitated.”
You can see this follows a natural sequence: Notice → Interpret → Respond
This isn’t about perfect parenting, specific techniques, or having all the answers. It’s about developing a different way of thinking – one that starts with curiosity about our children’s experience rather than judgment about their (and our!) behavior.
Your child’s behavior is information. Learning to notice and read that information accurately can transform how you’re able to respond to it.
In my next post: What this can look like in real life, why it’s often easier said than done, and how small shifts could help us start overcoming barriers.